Sacrifices

Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.
Luke 9:23

Since I have been born again I have learned so much about not only myself but others around me. No one in this world wants to be alone, we all want to love and be loved. This is the way God designed us. However, sometimes when it comes to God we just have to go at some things alone. For instance, understanding who we are, our faults, our wrongs, and how we have to change them. There are just no how-to books on this folks, giving up a part of ourselves is hard. More so when you have been a certain way for as long as you have been alive. But when that part within us has caused so much grief to ourselves and those around us we must understand if we want to change for the better that part has to go. I have literally witnessed people hang on to that old self in fear if they gave it up they would go crazy. When I say literally I mean literally it is the saddest situation within someone you will ever witness if you have not already. You see them struggle, live in fear, be miserable, and not happy at all. You think to yourself are they OK with being like this? No matter the cost? The answer is sadly, "YES" it is how they function and all the forces in Heaven cannot change them. That is how determined they are at hanging on to the old self.

The thing I had to let go within me was my family. At the end of my relationship with my family for 10 years nothing good came out of it. That relationship was toxic and It made me not be honest with myself and others around me. I was always in denial which quite frankly is the same thing as lying. Denial is someone tap dancing around the truth and when confronted will cover up what is true with a lie. Who wants to live like that? Who wants to live day in and day out not being honest about how they really feel because they are in fear of losing those they love? If someone truly loves you they will not try and make you live like this. People have construed what love really is, it is not about being selfish or greedy. Most of all it is not about always getting what we want. And when we do not get what we want it is how we deal with it that matters to God. Love is all about sacrifice and we have the best role model there is and that is God’s beloved Son Yeshua. His example should be a daily reminder. He gave up everything, His life so we could be set free. I personally think when people say this they have no clue what it means. It is like a punch-line to them. It sounds good but in all reality when it comes down to it they have no clue what so ever the depths of agony and pain Christ went through all because He loved us. Ask yourself when he states pick up your cross and follow me as a Christian what does that really mean to you? Do we even realize what He went through when He picked up that cross? No, I do not think people really do, they are only willing to sacrifice when it is convenient for them. The first instant they have to sacrifice what makes them happy even if it is a sin against God sadly denial will set in and the tap dancing begins.

When I let go of what meant everything to me at one time I started seeing things a lot more clearly. What I was holding on to was slowly destroying me, the worst part of all it kept me separated from God. How do I know this? Because it was when I let go of those people in my life I was born again. I can sit here and dwell on the sadness and trust me there is enough sadness to last me a lifetime. It could send me into a downward spiral of depression that I would be so lost I could never find my way back. I knew it, and I knew there was a better way. God had been telling me for years. But I like many did not want to sacrifice what I held dear. Then one day and yes for me it was just like that a snap of the finger!! I made a choice and that choice was “His Son” that meant I had to give up what was keeping me away from Him. No joke, my life since I made that sacrifice, year by year, month by month, day by day, God has been replacing what I gave up but this time, it is what He wants me to have. I have a better home life, free of drama, hate, division, strife, loving husband, blessed with a beautiful son. Most of all I am not confused anymore and peace….that is one thing that God has given me that no one in this world can ever give. For that, I love Him so much for giving me a life now that is more at peace. Oh, do not get me wrong things happen my life it is not all sunshine and lollipops. But when things happen I do not resort to Social Media or other outlets to bully, slander, defame, or hurt others so that I can blame shift or feel better about myself. I simply pray and turn to God that is where my peace comes from. It is a peace from the Spirit that is everlasting, not from the flesh that is temporary. I had to sacrifice a lot of myself in order to obtain all that I have now. I had to pick up my cross.

But, what can send me in a downward spiral is those nasty demons we all battle daily. I have chosen to not succumb to those demons. Are they still there? YOU BET! Every day, they try to find some way to make me go down that same ole worn out path God has warned me to never go down again. I have learned obedience in God is everything. I stay focused on Him and the finish line. He is there at the end waving His scarred hands reminding me…Shannon, in the end, it will all be worth it, keep pressing forward, and always remember me! My child the sacrifices are worth it!

Yeshua…..my encourager, my savior, my best friend.
~ Shannon Wendler